Talking to strangers on random chat platforms can be fun and exciting. We’ve all run into people who struggle to initiate a good conversation. Instead of fostering a genuine chat, they bombard you with a lot of questions that quickly make the chat feel like an interview. “M or f? Age? Name? Location?” or the infamous “ASL?”. This approach usually leaves no room for a meaningful interaction and can make it seem as if your chat partner has no real interest of getting to know you. If you’re wondering how to improve your conversations on these random chat sites, this article is for you. We’ll share simple ice breakers that can turn any awkward encounter into a nice conversation.

How can you improve your chatting experience?

A good chat begins with a good greeting.

On random chat platforms, many users are frequent chatters. They hop from chat to chat for a while, meeting a fair number of people. Now imagine if every one of those says “Hi, Hey, What’s Up” or similar, it can quickly become very boring. Instead, when chatting online, the best approach is to start with a friendly greeting that creates a comfortable space. Especially online, the first impression may not last for very long, but it is still important when trying to have good chats. It only takes a second for the other person to decide to skip you, so you want to make a good first impression.

Instead of the 20th “Hi” of the day, some more interesting and friendly openers could be:

• “Hey! Nice to meet you. How are you today?” or
• “Oh hey, we share the same interest. What do you like about [interest, e.g. Volleyball]?”

These allow your chat partner to provide more than a one-word reply, which is important for maintaining a natural conversation.

Of course, these are just examples, and we suggest you create your own greeting.

Keep it short but interesting.

Introductions are a key part of creating a good conversation. A good introduction can reference topics that both you and your chat partner might be interested in. While talking about yourself, your hobbies, your passions and your interests is a very good way to keep a conversation going, it should be kept short. We all know that one person who talks about themselves just a little bit too much - and without meaning to be rude, we quickly get tired and bored of listening to it. Talking about yourself for too long, especially without asking your chat partner questions, can quickly make you seem arrogant or self-impressed, and might show a lack of interest in the stranger you’re chatting with.

What this could look like:

• "I've been a dancer for the past 5 years, and just yesterday I had a competition. Of course, I won it because I've been training for weeks, and they were playing my favorite song to dance to. It just gets me rolling on the dance floor. All my friends were there too, cheering me on. It was a great feeling. Afterwards, we went to have some drinks and [...]"

Unless asked for, that is way too much information at once. This is a good story to tell your friends who are already interested in you, but it will most likely bore a stranger.

A good example could look like this instead:

• "I've been a dancer for the past 5 years, and just yesterday I had a competition. What do you like to do?"

This leaves room for the other person to ask you more about that if their interest is sparked. They might ask, "What song did you dance to?" or "Oh cool, did you win?", reply "My hobby is [interest, e.g., swimming]", or even say something along the lines of "I love to dance in my kitchen when no one is watching, LOL."

You see, the second example leaves much more room for your chat partner to engage in the conversation and gives them space to also talk about themselves.

Show interest in what your chat partner is saying.

Have you encountered this before? You're chatting with someone, but they only respond with one-word replies or take forever to respond. This can be really frustrating when you're trying to have a genuine conversation, especially when you're trying to tell them something specific. Once they focus on the chat, they talk about things that are far from what you initially discussed. This experience is never pleasant and can feel a bit offensive.

When talking to strangers online, remind yourself that you should extend the same respect to them that you expect in return. This requires your attention and focus, which can save them time and frustration. They may be discussing something uninteresting, but they are taking the time to share it with you. If you become bored, you could gently steer the conversation towards a different topic. Don't ignore what they're saying, and keep track of the topic. Here are some examples of what this could look like:

• Stranger: “So yeah, I was actually going to paint my wall blue, but I figured green would look better. You know, because I like nature a lot. It reminds me of being in a forest. But I also like blue; it reminds me of the sky or the ocean. I'm also going to hang some drawings my friend made for me. And I want to put a pink fluffy rug.”

If specifically asked for, this might seem interesting. Otherwise, a long and detailed explanation like this can quickly become boring. A poor example of your response could be:

• "Yeah, why not? Anyways, I'm on Netflix right now. Did you see the new movie?"

This could leave your chat partner feeling as if you have no interest in what they have to say, which might make them leave the conversation. In reality, they were providing you with many topics to discuss. So, instead, opt for something like this:

• "Well, both sound nice. Wait, you said you like nature? Me too! I take a walk in the forest every morning!", or
• "Are green and blue your favorite colors? My favorite color is yellow, so I painted my room that way."

This way, you're gently shifting the conversation away from the initial topic, without making your chat partner feel offended, but still referring to what they were saying.

Open-Ended Questions are your Best Friend.

As previously mentioned, the best way to initiate a conversation and maintain a natural flow is to ask your chat partner open-ended questions. This strategy is not only beneficial at the beginning of the conversation, but it also enhances the entire discussion. Asking open-ended questions encourages your chat partner to think beyond one-word answers and goes beyond the typical "yes" and "no". It also opens up more possibilities for topics to discuss.

Coming up with open-ended questions really isn't too hard. The general rule is that open-ended questions require more than a short answer; instead, they require long answers that might even require some self-reflection. An example of this would be as follows:

Instead of asking, "Did you have a good weekend?" which would only elicit a "Yes, I did." or a short response, you could ask, "What did you do this weekend?" This requires your chat partner to give you a more detailed answer and allows you to learn more about them. Here's another example:

"Do you like to travel?" leads to a short answer. "If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?" results in an answer that requires your chat partner to self-reflect and really think about their response. You will learn much more about the stranger you're talking to by asking these kinds of open-ended questions.

Make the Conversation lively.

Expressing and understanding emotions in a conversation can be difficult, especially when it comes to online chatting. Thankfully, just like Chitchat.gg, many random chat sites allow the use of emojis and GIFs. Using these in the right way can drastically improve the conversation, helping your chat partner understand your feelings about what they've said. Occasionally using a few emojis or a GIF once in a while can make the chat more engaging and transform a dry conversation.

But when using GIFs and emojis while talking online, keep in mind not to overdo it. Excessive use of them can make your messages seem spammy. You could even come across as someone who's "trying too hard". Using too many GIFs or emojis also makes it harder for your chat partner to read the chat properly and focus on the main content of the message. A mess of colors and shapes can distract your chat partner, potentially forcing them to miss certain parts of your message or even make them decide not to read it at all.

Keep it lighthearted.

Have you ever met a stranger who immediately tells you about all of their problems, perhaps even without you asking? This is called trauma dumping and is often very one-sided, leaving no room for the other person to speak up. Moreover, discussing problems and negativity too early can make the conversation feel dry very quickly. After all, you're here to chat and have fun, not to become a stranger's therapist, right?

To avoid this, try to stay positive and keep the conversation lighthearted. Especially at the beginning of a chat, a funny joke or friendly banter can leave your chat partner feeling much better than hearing about your problems. These are things better discussed with a close friend or family member rather than a random stranger you're trying to get interested in you.

Joking and banter can be great ways to break the ice early on and get to know your chat partner in a lighthearted way. Not only do jokes bring a smile to the other person's face, but they also give you the chance to learn about their sense of humor. It is generally best to avoid dark humor. Your chat partner might feel offended by inappropriate jokes, especially if they're from a different background than you.

If you can't think of any jokes, you can look online to find some. Pick one that you like and see how the other person reacts to it. Often, this sparks new topics, as the person you're talking to might share a joke themselves. Quickly, you will have funny anecdotes that both of you can keep referring to.

Why don’t you try these tips and see if they work?